The Libra new moon wants you to look at the relationship rules you never agreed to. Most of us have a few!
Don’t be too needy.
Don’t be difficult.
Keep everyone happy.
Be impressive and they’ll choose you.
Don’t ask for too much.
If someone pulls away, try harder.
Nobody necessarily sat you down and taught you these rules. You picked them up somewhere along the way, then quietly started organising relationships around them.
And that is where this Libra new moon is shaking a little sense into you.
Libra is associated with love and partnership, but it’s really concerned with the space between you and another person. What happens there? How much do you bend? What do you give? What do you expect back? And crucially, how much of yourself are you still allowed to be once somebody else enters the picture?
With Libra’s ruler Venus retrograde in Scorpio, October isn't particularly interested in keeping things pretty on the surface. Venus is retracing her steps through the sign of intimacy, trust, desire and uncomfortable truths. Something you thought you wanted may suddenly feel less appealing. Something you've tolerated for years might become impossible to ignore. An old relationship pattern could become embarrassingly obvious.
This doesn't have to mean dramatic break-ups or confrontations. Sometimes the revelation is much smaller: Oh. I always do that.
The new moon is separating from its opposition to Saturn in Aries, adding another question: where would a little more boundary actually create a better relationship? Not a wall. Not a grand declaration. Just enough room for two separate people to exist.
And then things get considerably spicier.
Venus is caught up in the Mars–Pluto tension across the fixed signs, bringing desire, power and frustration into the story. There can be a temptation to cling harder to what isn't working simply because we've invested so much in it. Fixed-sign energy isn't famous for saying, Fair enough, I'll completely rethink my emotional strategy.
But that may be exactly what this moon wants.
A new moon is a beginning. Venus retrograde says before you begin, look backwards.
What have your previous relationships, romantic or otherwise, taught you about what you believe you have to do to receive love?
Then decide whether you still agree.
Ivory Gloss crystal - Desert rose
Desert rose looks delicate, but it's created in surprisingly harsh conditions. These beautiful flower-like formations develop when water, sand and minerals come together in dry desert environments, making them a rather perfect crystal for changing an old relationship pattern.
Traditionally associated with clarity, grounding and fresh perspectives, desert rose is often used to clear mental clutter and help you recognise beliefs or habits that may be keeping you stuck.
For this Libra new moon, use yours as a reminder to see your relationships as they actually are rather than through an old story about what you have to do to be loved.
Keep it somewhere you'll see it regularly over the next two weeks. Every time you notice it, ask yourself whether you're responding to the relationship in front of you, or following one of your old rules.
The new love contract ritual & guided visualisation
Before you begin, take a piece of paper and write:
“To be loved, I must…”
Finish the sentence without overthinking it.
Maybe you have to be easy-going. Useful. Attractive. Successful. Never complain. Keep the peace. Make the first move. Pretend you don't care. Give more than you receive.
Write down whatever comes up, even if you know logically that it isn't true.
Then choose the one rule you're most ready to stop living by.
Unlock the full guided visualisation and complete your New Love Contract ritual inside your Ivory App membership...